Polite Society (2023)
I had the opportunity to see Polite Society premiere at the Glasgow Film Festival in 2023 as the festival’s closing film. I went with a few friends, and we couldn’t stop laughing. Polite Society is ridiculous, fun, and playful, even as it tackles frustrating and complex themes. It’s a kung-fu film that doesn’t hold back—it hits you right in the face, never shying away from its identity. Instead of beating around the bush, it fully embraces its style, breaking the fourth wall and engaging directly with the audience. Beyond its action and humor, Polite Society challenges traditional ideas about kung-fu films—who gets to tell these stories and what they can represent. At the same time, it explores the tension between tradition and modernity, particularly in how women navigate expectations within a patriarchal world.
Beyond the laughter and fun of the premiere, the film’s themes—ranging from the clash of tradition and modernity to the struggle for female autonomy—are what really linger.The story centers around Ria, a high schooler determined to become a stunt actor, despite her parents’ desire for her to pursue a more stable and prestigious career. While working on a school assignment to contact her role model, Ria becomes increasingly concerned when her older sister, Lena, starts dating someone she doesn’t approve of. As Lena’s relationship quickly escalates to an engagement, Ria becomes fixated on breaking them up, believing it will help her sister refocus on her passion and art career. What I love about the film is how it seamlessly blends high-energy kung-fu sequences with the emotional complexities of friendships, sisterhood, and parental expectations.
The first fight scene between Ria and her school nemesis, Kovacs, sets the tone for the rest of the movie, establishing the film’s comedic yet cathartic approach to action. These fight sequences serve as both high-energy spectacle and an emotional release for the frustration and anger life throws at us. Although Kovacs technically wins the fight, the real victory belongs to Ria, who has the unwavering support of her two best friends, Alba and Clara. I especially appreciated the subtle transformation of both Kovacs and Ria. Kovacs initially directs her anger at Ria for no real reason other than jealousy—Ria has something she longs for: companionship. But by the time we see Kovacs again, she chooses to help Ria and her friends rather than lashing out, turning her frustration into something more constructive. So wholesome, I know! Who knew a kung-fu could be wholesome? I love it!
My second favorite fight scene is between Ria and her older sister, Lena. The two are best friends—Ria looks up to Lena, recognizing all the talent her sister has, just as she sees it in herself. Lena is Ria’s biggest supporter, even filming her kung-fu YouTube clips. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have their fair share of sibling fights. One of the funniest and most relatable moments in the film is when Ria and Lena have an all-out brawl upstairs, while downstairs, their parents casually yell for them to settle down and not break anything. Meanwhile, the entire upstairs turns into a war zone, with barely anything left intact.
It instantly reminded me of all the times my siblings and I fought—my mom shouting from the other room to “knock it off,” while in reality, things were getting destroyed and we were lucky to make it out alive. I don’t even remember what half of those fights were about, just that I had to be right, and to be right meant winning. Did anyone else grow up like this? I think this scene perfectly captures both the intensity of childhood fights and the almost comedic level of parental non-involvement. Honestly, if I could go back—and even now, Mom, if you’re reading this—please don’t let us fight like that. Too many bruises, too many close calls. And to any future parents out there, at least separate them. There has to be a better way to process anger, frustration, and confusion than taking it out on the people we love.
Just as Ria fights to preserve her passion for stunt acting, her sister Lena battles against familial expectations to follow a more traditional path. The film masterfully connects these struggles to show how deeply ingrained societal values can shape a woman’s life. Ria’s parents are supportive of her dreams, and they even encouraged Lena during art school.Ria’s parents are supportive of her dreams, and they even encouraged Lena during art school. But their mother’s support follows a hierarchy—certain ambitions hold more value than others. I think this is true for most parents, but it’s especially heightened in immigrant families, particularly with mothers. Since previous generations of women didn’t have the same level of autonomy or financial independence, many have been conditioned to prioritize stability—often in the form of a partner—over personal fulfillment. Polite Society captures this generational divide beautifully, especially in the wedding scene when Ria and Lena’s mother confronts Salim’s mother, Raheela.
The wedding scene! Hands down my favorite part of the film. So much tension has been building—Ria’s failed plans, Lena’s shifting priorities, their mother’s expectations—and it all erupts into one final, spectacular battle. It’s Raheela, representing tradition and rigid expectations, versus Ria and modernity, and the clash is absolutely marvelous. But beyond the emotional stakes, I love this scene for its stunning visuals. The vibrant colors of the dresses, the electrifying music, and the choreography that seamlessly blends dance and kung-fu—it’s so artful and mesmerizing to watch. The combination of high-energy action, with dazzling aesthetics makes this moment unforgettable.
In addition to Ria’s journey, Lena’s character also struck a deep chord with me. Her struggles with societal expectations and her own sense of purpose are issues that many of us face, especially as we try to figure out where we belong in the world. One of my favorite characters is Lena from Polite Society. From her very first moments on screen, we understand so much about her. We see her walking out of a store, eating a whole chicken—she’s no longer in art school, struggling to figure out who she is while facing the pressure from her parents to settle down, start a family, and get a “respectable” job. At a vulnerable point in her life, Lena meets Salim (Raheela’s son), who seems to offer the support and purpose she needs, but her sister Ria sees him as just a distraction from Lena’s potential as an artist.
Lena’s journey is incredibly relatable because, at some point, we all get stuck. She’s trapped in her own head, and it’s only when Salim enters her life that she begins to pull herself out of that funk. What Polite Society does so well is show the immense pressure young women face to have it all—to have a partner, a career, a sense of purpose, and to be loved by everyone. It’s an impossible standard, yet one I feel all too often, when all I want to do is sulk with a giant turkey leg in one hand and a soda in another and no shame to be felt.
I see myself in Lena—constantly trying to fix everything, be successful, make everyone happy, all while trying to remember to love and stay true to myself. But sometimes I, like Lena, don’t even know what that means. Its tiring and sometimes all I want to do stay in sweatpants and sleep through the weight of it all. Lena is tired of hearing what the world thinks she should do, and throughout the film, she fights to figure out her own path—whether that’s clashing with her sister Ria, who urges her to focus on her career; challenging her parents, who want her to get married; or confronting Salim, who only sees her as a vessel. Her journey to discover what truly matters is something I can’t help but admire.
With Polite Society in mind, I’m excited to explore more kung-fu films that challenge conventions and offer new perspectives on identity, gender, and personal purpose. Polite Society has become a kung-fu classic for me—one of my go-to films when I want something funny with a bit of action, but with lower stakes. It’s a lighthearted film that explores the clash between traditional values and modernity, with women fighting to survive within the patriarchy. While I don’t have a huge kung-fu collection, I can confidently say this is unlike any other film I’ve seen, and I mean that in the best way.
What I love about Polite Society is how it captures a pivotal time in history, grappling with the traditional roles women were once expected to fulfill and where we stand today in terms of relationships and gender roles. What do men and women’s roles look like in this new age? Polite Society is a female-driven kung-fu film through and through, challenging stereotypes about what women can do in today’s world.
I’d love to hear recommendations for any other kung-fu films that share this style or other classic kung-fu films I should add to my watchlist. I’m always looking to expand my collection!
Written and Directed: Nida Manzoor
